Toby is a wonder dog / Smarter than the others
You learn to use your noggin’ / When a sheepdog is your mother
Nancy is his owner / A clever girl and bright
Takes Toby to the pub / Where he tells fortunes every night


Toby speaks no English / And very seldom barks
His fortune telling method / Is a most peculiar art
If you have a burning question / That you’re dying to find out
You buy the dog 2 beers / A pint of ale, a pint of stout

Toby, Toby, Yes or No
Tell us what the future holds

When Toby answers “Yes” / He very briskly wags his tail
Then puts his paw upon the bar / To indicate the ale
But if the answer’s “No” / beyond a shadow of a doubt
His little tail droops / While pointing sadly to the stout

Toby, Toby, Yes or No
Tell us what the future holds
Toby Toby, whatcha think?
Perhaps you need another drink

Will Joseph ever marry? / It’s anybody’s guess!
A great hurrah erupts / As Toby quickly answers YES
Will Nancy ever kiss me? / Asks Patrick with a grin
Two paws on the bar / Ah that means NO and NO again

Toby, Toby, Yes or No
Tell us what the future holds
If the answer isn’t clear
Then buy the dog another beer

It’s question after question / Until they all run out
Then Nancy drinks the ale / while Toby slobbers down the stout
Yes, Toby is a wonder dog / Drunker than the others
You learn to wet your whistle / When a sheepdog is your mother